Tag: silent

Rest

kburns88Leave a comment

I try to abide.
My nails bitten off
Show I cannot hide.
Stress, frustrations
Beatings from all sides.

Showered, fed, straight to bed.
Exhaustion demands,
No other master.
House disaster.
Hanging by a thread
Til pillow meets head.

Awaken too soon,
At least it is to his little smile.
To me, he hung the moon.
My first born, my baby boy.
He is my high every day,
he brings us so much joy.

Drained of all energy,
Leaving my job sounds tempting.
How else can I hold on to me?
But I wasn’t raised on quitting.

How does anyone balance?
The all consuming brain of motherhood
With everything else?
Nothing else stands a chance.

Only this matters.
Only our family,
And our marriage.

Priorities have shifted.
But if I don’t let go
Of all this strain
The crushing weight will never be lifted.

I don’t want to miss
His first word,
Crawl and step.
I know I am losing moments
That can’t be replaced.
No paycheck,
No good work,
Could mean more
Than seeing him grow.
If I’m not there enough,
Will he even know?
I’m his mommy,
But is that what our time shows?

Feels like we get very little
Time
And only one chance.

It all comes down to this-
What I once gave to willingly,
Was devoted to without question,
It…. it can no longer have
All my time and attention.

I am going rogue because
there has to be a balance.
A way to not feel-
Like I’m ripped apart.
When I started in this profession
It was truly from my heart-
To serve and help and teach-
A love of learning
Is always within reach.

I know these students are worthwhile,
They need someone to see past grades
And how they perform on tests.
They need teachers who believe in them
And they deserve the very best.
But this mommy has to give it a rest.

Stepford Teacher

kburns88Leave a comment

I know that I have room to grow and learn

My inability to dog and pony show has caused us strife

But what if I could jump through the hoops for you, pretending it is what’s best for students

And be like a Stepford Teacher.

 

I’d lose my independence so that my words

Would not be an outcry

Be a robot programmed to obey and stay silent

Why would I need to be more?

 

I’d keep my heart so unattached and void

To shallow surface only and never deep

I’d never question or raise my voice

I must be compliant and willing

Cost what it may

 

No matter the ask I’d do it for students

I know they are who needs me

Either planning or teaching or grading their work

“The Stepford life for me”

 

Everyone will see me comply and hold my tongue

If this is true, is it better? For who?

And yes, the change would leave me buried

So I can’t do it, not even for you
-Keri Burns

My team was empowered today to speak our concerns to our administration so that we could be heard and so that, hopefully, solutions can be found. This was a meeting I didn’t look forward to attending because I attempt to avoid confrontation when I can. However, it ended up being therapeutic and helpful and I am sincerely hopeful that solutions can be found.

That being said, I am glad that this wasn’t one of the times were I kept my mouth shut and did what I was told without question. It is important to play an active role in my own well-being and in what is expected of me.

I was searching for a poem to pair with first part of Act One Scene One of “A Raisin in the Sun” because we are reading that with our kids tomorrow and our unit is poetry and drama so we are trying to do pairings. All that to say, it took me a good 45 minutes to find what I wanted but I found it. Stepford by Genevieve Pilat https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/stepford-2/ is absolutely perfect!! And it inspired me to write my own about teaching instead of marriage.